Well well.  T'Pol is concerned the crew's inefficency-down 3%! -is due to a lack of sexual activity!  She sites that Starfleet regulations prohibiting officers from fraternizing with subordinates.  One: how does she know and two: who does she mean is 'suffering'?  'Unless you've been violating regulations?'  T'Pol deflects the blame.  So then, I wonder which officer she noticed was in need of having his tensions eased? 80)
    How does she recognize lack of sex is the problem, anyway?  Trip asks if she is 'suffering'. Even He knows!  'It's my understanding that your mating ritual is effective in easing tension'.  Ahem. What is T'Pol's understanding? Whom does she have it with, or who has she been researching this fact with? Again she refers to human relationships in a first hand nature. Hmmm......

    Trip's shirt is so Spirits Having Flown! 'If you're wearing that to impress the women in Risa you may as well stay on board.'  Why is Reed not on the bridge to witness the height of T'Pol's Reedcasism?  But haha, even the Old fill in Dude at Tactical is laughing! 80)  T'Pol wants Archer to take his star charts and take a frickin' vacation! But alas, V'Lar shows up and T'Pol goes all out.  If T'Pol wants a 'spartan enivirnment' she should have gone to Reed's quarters! She even frowns at the human smell again. I repeat:  Reed is clean.  T'Pol also gives precautionary guidelines to Archer about how to treat V'Lar.  'Refrain from laughing in her presence' hehe!

    Ah yes, Reedy is back at Tactical.  The Mazarites hail our gang, and Reed looks at Archer like 'I smell trouble, sir!' A pissy sucpicious Zoolander look follows.  V'Lar is brought onboard, supposedly a 'criminal' yet no security is there to greet her?  T'Pol  gets to the point about V'Lar's crimes.  Her and the trusty ol' Vulcan debate.  'You assume my time with humans has left me susceptable to their emotions.' Has it, Polly?  V'Lar counters 'They're our emotions as well. We simply hide them better.' Go V'Lar! Go V'Lar!  Archer asks T'Pol what the deal is, and T'Pol explains V'Lar influenced her to her current path.  Archer says he understands when a hero lets you down, but T'Pol denies, 'Vulcans don't have heroes.'  She denies having heroes and Reed's got the biggest hero complex known to man.  A match made in heaven!

    And who comms in on this heroic debate but Reed. He calls for Archer, but T'Pol comes to the bridge as well. Actually that makes sense and probably has no ship relevance whatsoever, but!  T'Pol quickly grows suspicious of the Mazarites as well.  They demand Archer turn the Ambassador to them, but Archer kicks back 'I'm just a starship Captain.'  Reed gets the biggest snicker on his face! I can't tell if it's a 'You're damn right you are, sir!' or a 'You tell 'em , Sir! Say the word and I'll blow them to smitherines!'  Probably a little of both.
    Archer orders Mal to polarize the hull plating, then Reed really gets his 'Already did that, Sir!'   The ship shakes-shaken not stirred Reed as always.  T'Pol reports a direct hit to Engineering, and Reed looks up at her like 'Why can't we have energy shielding?! Blasted bad guys and their energy shielding! Maybe if I invent it, it will impress her!' 80)  Reed admits he can't fire the phase canons at warp, and T'Pol looks up at him like 'Are you feeling well? It us unusual that you say you've been working on a problem and it has yet to be resolved.' Archer asks if the canons will work  at all, and Reed says 'Undoubtly!'  Naturally, the canons work.  Reed smiles and reports the baddies' shields are down.  Archer tells Reed to disable their engines, and OMR licks and bites his lips at the thought.   'Their dead in the water, sir!' What a smirk!

    T'Pol-arms crossed- and Archer debate with V'Lar while Trip and Reed repair the damage.  Trip thinks Malcolm enjoys people shooting at them, but Reedy responds 'If you must know, I much prefer the shooting back part.' haha.  He makes it like his personal motives about blowing things up are meant to be a secret. If you must know... Trip tries to inform Reed about something called 'peaceful exploration'.  'I must have something to do on this ship, Commander.'  He has nothing to do, that is why he invents things. 80)  Trip says he wishes he didn't keep Reed so busy. (??)  Trip can't wait to get to Risa and tells Reed the massuses have 12 fingers.  Reed raises his eyebrow at this freaky notion.  Trip clarifies 'On each hand.'  Reed smiles, 'Then I say Starfleet needs to make its presence know on Risa!'
    T'Pol talks to V'Lar about Passion Fruit, and I wonder if OHR (Our Horny Reed) likes it.  I bet he's allergic to that, too.  T'Pol tells the Ambassador that  Archer can be trusted, despite his resentment of Vulcans interfering with Warp.   V'Lar recalls that T'Pol has always spoken her mind.  Her 'bluntness' V'Lar says often forces the ambassador to take a second look at things.
    T'Pol then goes to Archer.  Carefully stepping around Porthos 80) She asks Archer not to turn V'Lar over to the Mazarites.  She begs for her hero, saying she's never asked The Captain for anything but this.  With her 'Please' and 'Thank you'  Archer agrees to get V'Lar to The Vulcans as quick as possible!

    Now  T'Pol is on the Bridge, leaning over Mayweather so Reed can see her ass er bum. She just can't get enough of that Captain's Chair!   3 Mazabaddies ships return.  Malcolm wants to drop to impulse again so he can fire his phase canons >80)  Archer doesn't like those odds.  Reed counts down his firing window. Then the Ambassador comes on the bridge and Reed shifts.  I don't know what his reaction is. I think it is either Who is this...woman!...on the bridge!....in a battle!...All this Bad Luck because of HER!  or its an All Hail! Cool Vulcan Ambassador on the bridge! Salute!  I just can't tell.
    V'Lar stands by Tactical, but Reed ignores her to stare at T'Pol! Ambassador or not, she's just not as good looking as the Sub-Commander!  Reed speaks up about the Mazabaddies overloading their engines.  Archer yells at the Mazarites. 'Why don't you slow down before your engines explode!' Reed doesn't look up, but he really smiles at that one. 80)  Look at all that lovin' for Archer! Wait a minute. He said 'explode'.
    Trip wants to slow down, for it's only a Wapr 5 engine 'On Paper!' hehe.   Archer darling offers his Chair for V'Lar to sit, since there is nowhere else!  Hey, she got to sit in the Captain's Chair before Reed. Boo.  Reed really itches at his station as the ship reaches Warp 5!  He is none to happy to see the baddies are still gaining.  Did you have to spoil everything Malcolm? 80(

    Pissed Reed says the bads are in firing range twice.  He really wants to get these buggers!  Does he just have a soft spot for all Vulcan chicks?  OGR (Our genius Reed) suggests delfecting the Mazarrite jamming signal back to them so they won't know Vulcans are coming to the rescue (!)  The bridge shakes and stirs and Reed says he can't hold off the ships until the Vulcans arrive. T'Pol looks hurt. 'Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking Mr. Reed can do everything?'  Reed gives a hopeful nod to Archer's stall work. Archer says the Shuttle Bay was damaged, and Reed winces slighty, hoping they don't check to see if the damage is true!  Archer says he is counting on Malcolm. Reed just nods like 'What? Yeah yeah, I'm busy already.'
    Baddies come aboard and T'Pol gets into the play acting again, saying V'Lar has 'Neurological trauma', or stress!  Reed gets the jamming signal deflected back on the Mazabaddies 80P.  Archer looks at T'Pol as if to say 'He did it!' T'Pol blinks in response, as if there was any doubt!  T'Pol takes the baddies weapons when the Vulcans arrive. What does she do with them? Give them to Malcolm as a reward?   V'Lar says she is sorry for all the trouble. But I'm sure Malcolm didn't mind. He got to shoot back!